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Here are some of Wright’s suggestions for what to say. You don’t have to be an erotica novelist or fanfic author to crush the dirty talk game. So, again, unless she specifically says it’s cool, probably best to keep any mentions of family members during sex to a minimum.

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  • Quinn’s playlists offer real-world examples of how to sound sexier to set the tone for your own sexual adventures.
  • Emily Morse is the host of the hit podcast Sex with Emily and the author of Smart Sex.
  • ’” That way, you can open up the discussion without being accusatory, and gauge what your partner is and isn’t into.
  • That’s because there are so many more parts of us than just the sexual being.

You can take inspiration from porn or movies, but be sure to give it your own twist. Think about what turns you on and create a list of words, scenarios, or fantasies that arouse you. Then place your personal touch, including moans, groans, and the ubiquitous “YEAH?! YEAH!!” exchange to make your sexual talk genuinely resonate.

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  • Maybe you are already a master of talking dirty through text messages.
  • Step outside yourself by creating a character or persona to inhabit while you’re learning how to talk dirty.
  • Ultimately, getting in sync with what your partner likes and dislikes and any fetishes or kinks you each have is important for any intimate act, dirty talk included.
  • Great, passionate sex is about transmuting and expressing our shadow sides.

The talks exposed us (in a good way) and caused us to be more vulnerable as we opened up about our most profound thoughts. Stimulating the brain takes more than just saying the right words. One way to establish rapport is by asking the right questions to help you get to know each other. This helps establish the flow of conversation while also keeping you both engaged. While the typical “getting to know you” questions might work when you’re just starting, the best way to get her heart (and mind) racing is to ask deep questions.

How to get comfortable with dirty talk

“Be clear of the line between playful nudging and coercion. Never cross the line into coercion-even in dirty talk — do not confuse that with coercion or sexual power play that is clearly asked for and consented as a part of the dirty talk scene,” Hauser states. When it comes to introducing any new sexual experience or accessory with a partner, Rullo recommends that individuals introduce the topic during non-sexual encounters. A great time to do this can be after sex when you’re relaxed and enjoying some pillow talk. Dirty talk is any form of sexually charged or explicit speech that is intended to arouse and seduce someone.

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Create anticipation.Part of the appeal of talking dirty is the anticipation of what’s to, well, come. So describing exactly what you plan to do to your partner before you actually do it helps to build up sexual tension. And this can start long before you reach the bedroom—whisper your dirty plans in their ear while you’re out together at an event, sitting on the subway, or doing the laundry, for example. Since you’ll have them thinking about it from that moment on, they’ll likely be increasingly turned on until the moment you make good on your promise. Basically you’ll be just initiating foreplay very far in advance.